An ambitious yuppie finally decided to take a vacation. He booked
himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his
life ...at least for awhile. A hurricane came unexpectedly.
The ship went down and was lost instantly.
The man round himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other
people, no supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.
Used to 4-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. So for
the next 4 months he ate bananas, drank coconut juice, longed for his
old life, and fixed his gaze on the sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship.
One day, as he was lying on the beach, he spotted movement out of the
corner of his eye. It was a rowboat, and in it was the most
gorgeous woman he had ever seen. She rowed up to him. In
disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? How did you
get here?" "I rowed from the other side of the island," she said, "I
landed here when my cruise ship sank." "Amazing," he said, "I
didn’t know anyone else had survived. How many of you are
there? You were really lucky to have a rowboat wash up with
you." There's only me," she said, "and the rowboat didn’t wash
up, nothing did. "He was confused, "Then how did you get the
rowboat?" "Oh, simple." replied the woman, "I made the rowboat
out of raw material that 1 found on the island. 'The oars were
whittled from Gum tree branches, I wove the bottom from Palm branches,
and the sides and stem came from a Eucalyptus tree." "But - but,
that's impossible," stuttered the man, "you had no tools or
hardware. How did you manage?" "Oh, that was no problem,"
replied the woman, "on the south side of the island there is a very
unusual strata of alluvial rocks used that for tools, and used the
tools to make the hardware. But, enough of that," she said.
"Where do you live?" Sheepishly he confessed that he had been sleeping
on the beach the whole time.
"Well, let's row over to my place, then," she said.
After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small
wharf. As the man looked onto shore he nearly fell out of the
boat. Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite
bungalow painted in blue and white. While the woman tied up the
rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man could only stare
ahead, dumbstruck.
As they walked into the house, she said casually, "it's not much, but 1
call it home. Sit down please; would you like to have a drink?"
"No, no thank you" he said, still dazed. "I can’t take any more
coconut juice." "it's not coconut juice," the woman
replied. "I have a still. How about a Pina Colada?" Trying
to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on
her couch to talk. After they had exchanged their stories, the
woman announced, "I'm going to slip into something more
comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave?
'There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the bathroom. No
longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom.
There, in the cabinet, was a razor made from a bone handle. Two
shells honed to a hollow ground edge were fastened on to its end inside
of a swivel mechanism.
"This woman is amazing," he mused, "what next?"
When he returned, she greeted him wearing nothing but vines
-strategically positioned - and smelling faintly of gardenias.
She beckoned for him to sit down next to her.
"Tell me," she began, suggestively, slithering closer to
him, "we’ve been out here for a very long time.
You’ve been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel
like doing right now, something you’ve been longing for all these
months? You know... " She stared into his eyes.
He couldn’t believe what he was hearing: "You mean ... ?", he replied, "I can check my e-mail from here?"
