This has been around on the net for years. I don't know if it was ever on the McDonnell Douglas web site but it makes a good story.
McDonnell Douglas Customer Survey
This was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website by an employee there who obviously had a sense of humor. The company, of course, does not (have a sense of humor) - and made the web department take it down immediately. (In case you don't know: McDonnell Douglas is one of the world's chief suppliers of military aircraft).
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.
- Personal Information:
Mr.Mrs.Ms.MissLt.Gen.ComradeClassifiedOther First name: Initial: Last name:
Code name: Password: (max 8 char)
Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: : :
- Which model aircraft did you purchase?
Choose OneF-14 TomcatF-15 EagleF-16 FalconF-117A StealthClassified
- Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):
19 / /
- Serial Number:
- Please check where this product was purchased:
Choose OneReceived as gift/aid packageCatalog showroomIndependent arms brokerMail orderDiscount storeGovernment surplusClassified
- Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
Choose OneHeard loud noise, looked upStore displayEspionageRecommended by friend/relative/allyPolitical lobbying by manufacturerWas attacked by one
- Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
Style/Appearance Speed/Maneuverability Price/value Comfort/Convenience Kickback/Bribe Recommended by salesperson McDonnell Douglas reputation Advanced Weapons Systems Backroom politics Negative experience opposing one in combat
- Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
North America Iraq Central/South America Iraq Aircraft carrier Iraq Europe Iraq Middle East (not Iraq) Iraq Africa Iraq Asia/Far East Iraq Misc. Third World countries Iraq Classified Iraq
- Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:
Color TV VCR ICBM Killer Satellite CD Player Air-to-Air Missiles Space Shuttle Home Computer Nuclear Weapon
- How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all that apply:)
- How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
Choose OneDeficit spendingCashSuitcases of cocaineOil revenuesPersonal checkCredit cardRansom money Traveler's check
- Your occupation:
Choose OneHomemakerSales/MarketingRevolutionaryClericalMercenaryTyrantMiddle managementEccentric billionaireDefense Minister/GeneralRetiredStudent
- To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate
the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
participating on a regular basis:
Golf Boating/Sailing Sabotage Running/Jogging Propaganda/Disinformation Destabilization/Overthrow Default on loans Gardening Crafts Black market/Smuggling Collectibles/Collections Watching sports on TV Wines Interrogation/Torture Household pets Crushing rebellions Espionage/Reconnaissance Fashion clothing Border disputes Mutually Assured Destruction
Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you better in the future - as well as allowing you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to: